From One Nest to Another: Making it On Your Own-Author Julian Lane

If you enjoy nostalgic television, you’ve probably heard of the popular 1970s television sitcom, The Mary Tyler Moore Show. While groundbreaking for several reasons, the show’s essence was encapsulated in a line from its theme song – “You’re going to make it after all” – perfectly capturing the combination of excitement, eagerness, and self-doubt that a single woman had in living – and being – on her own for the first time.

The complex emotional layers associated with living on your own for the first time are ones shared across generations, so take comfort in knowing that like so many others, you will absorb the newness and establish a routine that for the most part, you now get to control! Even if you are anxious about having to do things on your own that you’re not “expert level” at doing, like cooking or laundry, there are services and places that can help, like the Tornado Laundromat. Overall, just paying attention to some practicalities can help ease any discomfort and help you settle in.

Priorities when selecting your home or apartment

A first obvious thought when searching for a place to live is one you can afford. However, there may be some things worth paying extra for, or at least making a trade-off with another of your criteria, such as a safe neighborhood, or a shorter commute time to work. Some questions to ask yourself include:

●      What is your transportation situation? If you have your own vehicle, you’ll want a parking situation that is reasonably secure, with good lighting. A bicycle commuter will need a safe storage situation, a safe bike route between home and work, as well as easy access to public transportation during inclement weather or for trips where bicycling isn’t practical.

●      Do you have pets? Pets can ease the transition into living on your own for the first time, but be prepared to pay extra with a pet deposit and possibly other fees, which can vary based on type, breed, and even size of your pet. If you have a dog, your management or landlord may have strict rules about leashes, where you can take your dog for their “daily business,” as well as picking up after them. Remember that the better behaved your pet is, the better success you’ll have as a pet-owning renter.

●      Do you have any physical challenges? If you have a disability or just find certain activities uncomfortable, be sure to carefully assess your prospective housing to determine if you can navigate any challenges. First-floor accommodations can be a blessing for bad knees, and a wheelchair user will want a unit close to plentiful handicapped parking spots.

●      Do the other tenants complement your lifestyle? While you can’t control the tenant demographic, some rental properties cater to or attract specific populations, such as college students, married professionals, or seniors. If on-site social activities appeal to you, you may want to “fit in” with a population that’s closer to your age. Or, if you work nights, being able to sleep during the day is an important consideration, so check the soundproofing and what the movement above you sounds like.

●      What nearby services are important to you? If you enjoy a custom coffee before work, that coffee shop next door may be what gets you to sign on the dotted line! On the other hand, single parents may prioritize being close to schools or daycares, as well as grocery stores, medical facilities, or laundry pickup and delivery services for those busy weeks.

It’s your checkbook now

Having to pay for everything for the first time can either be exhilarating, or terrifying! Either way, careful planning can prevent financial angst. Budgeting is important not just for your current living situation, but as you plan for your future. If you’ve never paid your own rent or mortgage before, wait a few months before you make any major purchases; even if you’re confident you can afford the rent, sometimes finances translate differently in real life than on paper, especially if you had hefty moving expenses.

You also have to consider variations in your other living necessities, such as utilities not included with your rent. A longer commute time may also mean spending more on auto fuel and maintenance. Before making that first trip to the grocery store, have your weekly meal plan on paper so that you only buy what you need. After three or four weeks you’ll have a realistic idea what your grocery budget is and can adjust accordingly. Take some cooking classes or monitor some cooking shows to help you save money by cooking at home instead of eating out or paying for meal delivery services.

Your goal is to not accumulate debt as you’re starting out. As your earning power grows, you’ll have to spend it paying down debt instead of being able to save. This restricts your future options, such as buying a home, because mortgage lenders will assess your debt-to-income ratio when you apply for a mortgage. Once you have your monthly expenses figured out, add them up and divide them by your gross income – not your take-home pay. In general, your debt should be about one-third of your total gross income.

You can make it!

Being on your own for the first time can take some getting used to, so accept that and be patient with yourself. There are always a few faltering steps when learning to fly, but soon you will gain the confidence that you, too, can “make it after all.”

Author-Julian Lane